My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
