my mouth tastes like poor choices
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
