So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
