Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
