Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
