i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Is it because I queefed?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
