I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
