Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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