Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Be still, my beating vagina.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
