i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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