today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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