We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
