i need an iv and a liver transplant
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
