guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
