that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
