i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
