ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
