He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
