when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
