mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
