She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
