my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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