and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
