sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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