Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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