Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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