I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
