i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
