And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
