pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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