Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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