One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
