I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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