so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
