Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
