Your tits are I can't wait for
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Of course I have a pirate flag
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
