Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
