thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
