This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
