There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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