Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
