While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You have to summon your inner elephant
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
