YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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