Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
