I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
