i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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