too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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