Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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