I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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