you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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