I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
